Compromise??

Why should we? Why do we? For the sake of what? Somebody else happyness?
I'm home, I'd like to be out like usual. What for? why? other people?
Do we need them? Probably.. but why can they not be like us.
I know .. I ask too many questions. Probably I shouldn't. I want to be free again. Free to think, free to dance till I fancy it, free to decide what I do/ Why do I limit myself for the sake of company?
Is it worth it? Probably not.
For some people probably is, but as for me going out and enjoy is the only reason why it make sense to fuking continue to be in this world. Here u go. My life. Superficial. Yeah! So what?
I worked 60 hours this week, just to be out. And you can't violate my persona.
I need an escapade. I need to get moving.
Here you go... I maybe found the answer to one of my question.
What are my priorities. Futile ones I know, but they do matter for my survival. I'm not gonna withstand any more nights in for the sake of love? No I won't.
Loneliness, I can cope with that. Boredom, not.
Here I am I want to be still out, I'm in, blogging. What's the fuking point.
Wish decisions wouldn't be so difficult. But I can do it. I will. Losing another special person. Oh well, not really my fault.. Just incomprehension, or maybe just different priorities.
I hate to be in this world, as I don't believe in the reason why I'm here unless I think of egoism from my mother that wanted a friend so created me.
Hence... whatever. I'm not ready, but I'll do it again, put a preposition to the world. Will I lose? of course, but does that make a big difference? No really. Life for the sake of freedom, or freedom for the sake of life.
I reckon me being alive is more important for some people than me being in a grave, therefore, here I come. Disillusioned, bored, maybe superficial, but take my social life away from me and you take the only reason that keeps me want to continue.

"Somebody once said we never know what is enough until we know what's more than enough." Billie Holiday

My friday night!