I'm starting to wonder if I'm totally detaching myself from reality, the world, what is so called society
My honest answer is I don't think so, but people surrounding me clearly believe the opposite.
My level of frustration with the world has reached some sort of no way return, I find it humiliating to me, my being, everything I believe into.
Doesn't matter the occasion, the circumstances, the environment, the atmosphere, the people, the timeframe; whatever happens it's always my fault.
In modern society, people are different. They no longer answer questions, they no longer express an opinion, they just talk for the simple fact of picking a sentence and repeating it over and over again.
I can't possible continue like this. I'm not breaking down, I'm broken and all the people that surround me are just breaking the pieces in smaller parts.
Let me understand why, because I don't. Help me stop crying.
that I had to host ( due to my mum request) and she left those drawings here to be resent... Well.. she now claims to be an important fashion designer.. or so the world thinks.. Realistically her creations are not too bad.. some even nice.. but I was reading yesterday her "philosophy"..
And it says...
Il suo cuore batte sempre più velocemente portandola lontano dalla sua famiglia e dalla sua Sicilia: arriva a Londra alla celebre Central Saint Martins per frequentare i corsi di Fashion Illustration Cool Hunter e Millinery Designere, senza nessun aiuto, trova e inizia uno stage di quattro mesi da Vivienne Westwood. Ritorna in Italia spinta da una determinazione fuori dagli schemi: disegnare, creare abiti è e sarà la sua vita, il suo mondo.
The bit in red... says.. without any help finds a stage of 4 months @ Vivienne Westwood..
Without any help.. my ass...
Thanks to me.. which I begged my friend to allow her to work there.. and thanks to MY FRIEND ( which was so kind to even go in the interview room and translate any word she said as she didn't speak a word of English)
THE WORLD is just unfair... I will never get around to understand that either.
I think I ranted enough for today.. Also.. I can't stay on the computer either.. because that annoys Gina TOO....
not to start another book while she's here because she can't bear the idea to see me read?
Ok.. that if I like a book I get obsessed until I finish it... but that's normal! no? I mean it's Dan Brown.. how can you stop half way through!!!!
I sincerely don't think we will ever have anything in common.. ever... She's been obsessively walking with pieces of t-shirts under her shoes and collecting dust from the floor every hour.. showing how crazy it is that is always dirty!!!
We should spend more time talking.. about what? exactly? cleaning? I don't believe there is any other point of discussion.
how does the list go? stop smoking stop drinking exercise lose weight go to sleep early relax find a new job be diplomatic
Pointless list really.. never happens.. So I think the only one I'll try to achieve in Twenty Ten is: Expect nothing from people, so maybe I'll be positively surprised.
And yes the end of the noughties ( or naughties .. ) what will be next ? the decade of the countryside.. let's hope so.
Went to midnight mass last night and I seriously thought, everything else failed, maybe religion will give me happyness. I woke up this morning, unable to move, my back just gave up on me. Maybe God didn't appreciate me exchanging peace with the tranny in the church. Oh well..
As many of you have been at the receiving end of my flight misadventures ( self inflicted or not) Pod in Pisa @ 4 am anybody..
I thought I share a couple of tidbits with you
- If departing from Heathrow T5 - make sure you clock in security 40 minutes before departure, printing boarding pass, even with hand luggage only and going for a fag is not allowed by the automated machine. 39'59" you remain at T5. Flight missed like this about 6
P.S. at Gatwick crying still works ( succeeded with panic twice)- still you have to make through baggage handling
- When in Heathrow T5 take the lifts not the escalators it's far quicker.. and so much so they now have put a sign to tell you
- As Heathrow express prices will go up to £18 ( a robbery ) and you get no discount for return and really you don't want to invest in a carnet.. this site will save you a couple of £.. but you need a printer ( you pay £14.19) HERE and no I don't get commissions for helping you
-Last Heathrow express is at 23.25 last departing from Heathrow @ 23.53 or something like that. So if you plan to arrive late, call a cab in advance or you'll cry for a month
-Never take a taxi to Paddington, unless is 3 am.. especially if you are 3 tube stops away.
-If you need to buy a gadget and you are about to fly, keep in mind the cheapest internet price as airports have no tax and it might be cheaper there. ( especially as in Jan UK tax are back up to 17.5%) and you can shop now and collect on the way back, probably the only service that works at T5. Also if you are unlike me and like to arrive at the airport with days to spare.. there is also a Waga.. ( I always regret it once I see it ) Gordon Ramsay and whatever you are looking for... and you can feel like pretty woman and get the bags delivered at the entrance of the plane.... and BOOTS is upstairs, before you go downstairs to the gates and the escalator is very long..
-NEVER change CASH at the AIRPORT even if they give u 300 miles.. you can buy a return ticket with the fee they charge you.
I shall do Gatwick in a separate section.. but mainly.. no point in arriving early there is fuck all and the Gatwick express is the most expensive slow train you have to experience.
I'm at heathrow waiting for gina ( which was supposed to arrive on the 21st. It's now the 23rd and despite flight eventually landed meatless as that was given to friends to avoid moulding in luggage) she's now stuck in the middle of the pista!!! Being served hot tea by the fire brigade the only workers left @ T5! Now one of the biggest airport in the world doesn't have enough parking space for what it looks from here 12 flights some of which landed @ 13.10 of the 22nd!!!! They invented a new meaning for the word landed at heathrow :drinking hot tea delivered by the fire brigade in the middle of the runway! Arrived means you can now leave the plane please and wait on your right and bags arriving you might see your darlings once the only person still working manages to lift one by one the luggages onto the conveyor! And we all know that gina despite having to leave 12 kgs of meat in catania still mastered 70kg comfortably divided in 2 bags of 35 and her fashionable poshette!! Clearly taking the monday and the Tuesday off was not enough .... a couple of hours and I have to be in that wonderful reassuring and amazing place that's my work! .... The funny thing is cultures... The English arrive and can't stop apologising sorry sorry sorry I'm sure Gina will rage at me!! Luckily I brought a bag of haribo and some supercrunchy crakers!!
None clearly The world loves classifications, social status has classifications, friends have too. Well that makes me think. Work is shit, that's no news.. I try to mingle with people I spend most of my days with, but clearly I'm different. I don't wear high heels, neither I tart around, neither I sleep with any of them, neither I can have fun talking to them. Friends, clearly I think differently from them too, because the people I think are my friends, don't like to share their lives with me either. so.. I just muddle along till life kills me. that's a nice future plan isn't it. You can't choose your family, but I came to learn, you clearly can't choose your friends either. Yes yes I chose my friends... but they didn't choose me, nothing u can do about that. Can you? I shall muddle along still I find why some crazy mind decided to fuck with me and keep me here, till then good night, good morning, good night... the days pass, life passes and still I think the same. If still not for a solution, I'm looking for an explanation. That will never come either.
Gina is coming to London for Xmas... that's no news.. but what's news is that
a) she stopped smoking ( day 3) so she'll have double the energy
b) no Pina
c) she's staying for NY due to airlines hating me and not having any direct flight to sicily before NY
Hence.. what on earth shall we do for NY
ah! M's mum is here too..
Some hints to solve the puzzle
OK so.. It can be London or anywhere else. There are fireworks in London and I have an idiosincracy ( yes another one) whatever you do a NY you do all year.... so you know.. i don't want to chop onions or watch a movie..
a) my mum needs entertainment
b) we want to spend a lovely evening
c) M wants to see fireworks
d) walking on the south bank will be crazy and absurd because jam packed..
d) will be nice to go in a place, but we are not people which will remain there dancing or that will want to spend the evening in a long dress an high heels ( hence posh dinner places are a bit out of discussion
e) my mum would for example love to go to a house in the countryside or stay around with friends- however, my mum unlike yours it's not the type that will give young people their space. she will always be in the middle all night
So far I've come up with dinner at Oxo tower, Medieval banquet or throw a party and fuck it.
1. my boiler ( the new one! ) grow life of its own.. mushrooms
2. my handbag self ignate itself ( caught fire)
3. my cv.. while on my mac doesn't, when you receive it contains a picture of little man and big man ( errrrrrr I actually went to an interview about 6 months ago and I just realised the receiver had the pleasure of seeing that picture)
What can I say.... how much can you do in a week? combine daughter, 10 times more hyperactive mother, a jew and a chinese.. Please don't refrain to make jokes like: How do a sicilian a jew and a chinese ask for directions.. and all similar things.. we had plenty trials. We didn't spare film.. well as it's digital nowadays, however here you go, a "small" sample for you to enjoy. Sorry about the shitty background music.. but only realised way to late to start the all process again.
Actually I think I'll go to bed and check if tomorrow morning is ready...