IT'S XMAAAAAAAS

and in my attempt to be .. well a bit more pc and diplomatic next year..

Christmas Wishes to Everyone

I wanted to send some sort of Christmas greeting to my friends and
colleagues, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what
to say without offending someone. So I met with my attorney yesterday, and
on his advice I wish to say the following:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
nonaddictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced
with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular
practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or
traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or
secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and
medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted
calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of
othe cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country
great (your country of choice) and without regard to the race, creed, color,
age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
her-/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is
revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to
perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of
one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever
comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance
of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.