1st of all what's a family? I found the following definitions but I reckon the first one was written by Dclain.
A group of annoying random people that supposedly "gave birth to you" even though everyone knows that we were made by flying spaghetti monsters. They annoy you and make sure that you're "okay" even though you can take care of yourself.
My family was tormenting me about cutting my veins.
Other definitions will be at the bottom, but for now let's concentrate on what's reasonable for my mum.
11.00 am one morning... ring ring *simulating phone ringing
Mum: Hello, in 2 weeks the daughter of such and such is coming to London
Me interrupting : no she's not staying at my house
Mum: you know we have to do it... ( royal we??? I - mean I have to cope with her) they have done this and that and the other and blablabla
Me: ehm.. you know I wake up early I have coffee, dry my hair, pick up the bike.. I'll wake her up.. NONONONONONONONONONONO..( you can't change my routine.. I'm superstitious as I mentioned in separate entry, and you really can't disrupt my routine, I'll be upset all day thinking that something terrible is gonna happen to me!)
To make a long phone call short, she came to London, saint A. agreed to host her. ( I LOVE YOU)
Obviously she came with her mamy so she could check out the environment. Even invited them for dinner.. and they rudely arrived 1 hour late, so my magnific risotto with asparagus was ruined.. they loved it.. but what they know about food..
To tell you that, in comparison I'm a vatusso ( giant.. if i just invented the word)
Daughter : 22, already redone boobs ( reduction I presume) flat flowery ballerina shoes, skirt.. one of those that flyes with the wind a la Maryline Monroe.. ( not quite), LV handbag, LV handluggage with red cherries.. in case I didn't hate LV enough..
*they say that Japanese buy all the LV bags, have they have ever done a survey of LV owned procapita in sicily? I think the CIA handbook should add this statistics.
Highlights .. well so far..:
A. showing her ironing board.. No don't worry I won't need it.. I bet her monstrous luggage not only could contain a walk in wardrobe but servant that chooses colours for you
A. showing her the washing machine *looking as the object in front of her was an UFO
I promptly come to save the situation.. don't worry the laundrette is just round the corner. ummmf!!!!
I couldn't however save Filippo asking : when you gonna bring a big man home, never tried black you should.. Then he went on to explain that she should be part of at least a group ( as she is studying design, she has to interact with her colleagues... .can u believe she didn't go for a beer or anything with them yet..after a week... ehm..not possible! ) so she should either learn to smoke splifs, be gay, have sex.. and the list continued as did the dissertation on individuals, groups, why smoking a splift could help globalisation.. and so on so forth.. )
To which A. said.. me thinking he was going to save her from Filippo
A. she is here to study not to find men.. but however it will be cool if you started smoking and having your first lesbian experience.
I MEAN.............................
don't want to know what she's gonna report back....
probably that A made home made pesto and me the tiramisu'!! how nice people.. otherwise I suppose her mother and mine will be on the next flight to London. ( ah!! forgot to mention the mother was shocked she was going to live with two men... I think she knew the full story.. I'm not sure that will be the biggest issue. )
I think Filippo should be added as an entry in unencycopedia..
He even said that now we live through our blogs.. we almost post before we do things..
Now ... the conundrum is... how many times a week do I have to look after the kid.. considering that they probably expect 24 hours a day.. Even get phonecalls from her dad asking where she is as she couldn't contact her.. I reply I'm at work, she probably at Uni... maybe in the toilet??
Or having violent sex with huge man.. following F's advice..
Oh well...
As I was typing mum rings: how did it go last night? How is she? Where are you ( as in you both) going tonight? eh??? us both??? ) ok.. that answer my question... I should be with her daily... fuk that.
Other family definitions.....
1. The close relationships among a body of human beings through blood. Usually are annoying and invasive around the holidays.
"You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. Unless you kill them, marry somebody and procreate to start a new one."
2. Gay. Often used to describe/point out another homosexual person without being obvious.
Justin, check out that hot guy over there! He must be family.
3. A bunch of people who hate each other and eat dinner together.
I have to go to a family function.
4. A taxon broader than genus and narrower than order
Domain
Kingdom
Phylum
Class
Order
Fa mily
Genus
Species
5. Heads of the 5 families of New York given and refered to by the testimony of Joseph Valachi (whom also introduced the terms "La Cosa Nostra","The Commission" during the 1963 McCellan's Senate Committee Case)of the Bosses during that time of his testimony.
Gambino(headed by Carlo Gambino), Genovese(headed by Vito Genovese), Columbo (headed by Joe Columbo), Lucchese (headed by Tom Lucchese), Bonanno (headed by Joe Bonanno)
"your apart of a family; a crew, that means no one can f**k with you."-Henry Hill (from the book "Wiseguy")
6. family
the one thing in life u can neva change and usually the one thing u want to the most.
7. added by me.. COMMUNITY
A group of annoying random people that supposedly "gave birth to you" even though everyone knows that we were made by flying spaghetti monsters. They annoy you and make sure that you're "okay" even though you can take care of yourself.
My family was tormenting me about cutting my veins.
Other definitions will be at the bottom, but for now let's concentrate on what's reasonable for my mum.
11.00 am one morning... ring ring *simulating phone ringing
Mum: Hello, in 2 weeks the daughter of such and such is coming to London
Me interrupting : no she's not staying at my house
Mum: you know we have to do it... ( royal we??? I - mean I have to cope with her) they have done this and that and the other and blablabla
Me: ehm.. you know I wake up early I have coffee, dry my hair, pick up the bike.. I'll wake her up.. NONONONONONONONONONONO..( you can't change my routine.. I'm superstitious as I mentioned in separate entry, and you really can't disrupt my routine, I'll be upset all day thinking that something terrible is gonna happen to me!)
To make a long phone call short, she came to London, saint A. agreed to host her. ( I LOVE YOU)
Obviously she came with her mamy so she could check out the environment. Even invited them for dinner.. and they rudely arrived 1 hour late, so my magnific risotto with asparagus was ruined.. they loved it.. but what they know about food..
To tell you that, in comparison I'm a vatusso ( giant.. if i just invented the word)
Daughter : 22, already redone boobs ( reduction I presume) flat flowery ballerina shoes, skirt.. one of those that flyes with the wind a la Maryline Monroe.. ( not quite), LV handbag, LV handluggage with red cherries.. in case I didn't hate LV enough..
*they say that Japanese buy all the LV bags, have they have ever done a survey of LV owned procapita in sicily? I think the CIA handbook should add this statistics.
Highlights .. well so far..:
A. showing her ironing board.. No don't worry I won't need it.. I bet her monstrous luggage not only could contain a walk in wardrobe but servant that chooses colours for you
A. showing her the washing machine *looking as the object in front of her was an UFO
I promptly come to save the situation.. don't worry the laundrette is just round the corner. ummmf!!!!
I couldn't however save Filippo asking : when you gonna bring a big man home, never tried black you should.. Then he went on to explain that she should be part of at least a group ( as she is studying design, she has to interact with her colleagues... .can u believe she didn't go for a beer or anything with them yet..after a week... ehm..not possible! ) so she should either learn to smoke splifs, be gay, have sex.. and the list continued as did the dissertation on individuals, groups, why smoking a splift could help globalisation.. and so on so forth.. )
To which A. said.. me thinking he was going to save her from Filippo
A. she is here to study not to find men.. but however it will be cool if you started smoking and having your first lesbian experience.
I MEAN.............................
don't want to know what she's gonna report back....
probably that A made home made pesto and me the tiramisu'!! how nice people.. otherwise I suppose her mother and mine will be on the next flight to London. ( ah!! forgot to mention the mother was shocked she was going to live with two men... I think she knew the full story.. I'm not sure that will be the biggest issue. )
I think Filippo should be added as an entry in unencycopedia..
He even said that now we live through our blogs.. we almost post before we do things..
Now ... the conundrum is... how many times a week do I have to look after the kid.. considering that they probably expect 24 hours a day.. Even get phonecalls from her dad asking where she is as she couldn't contact her.. I reply I'm at work, she probably at Uni... maybe in the toilet??
Or having violent sex with huge man.. following F's advice..
Oh well...
As I was typing mum rings: how did it go last night? How is she? Where are you ( as in you both) going tonight? eh??? us both??? ) ok.. that answer my question... I should be with her daily... fuk that.
Other family definitions.....
1. The close relationships among a body of human beings through blood. Usually are annoying and invasive around the holidays.
"You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. Unless you kill them, marry somebody and procreate to start a new one."
2. Gay. Often used to describe/point out another homosexual person without being obvious.
Justin, check out that hot guy over there! He must be family.
3. A bunch of people who hate each other and eat dinner together.
I have to go to a family function.
4. A taxon broader than genus and narrower than order
Domain
Kingdom
Phylum
Class
Order
Fa mily
Genus
Species
5. Heads of the 5 families of New York given and refered to by the testimony of Joseph Valachi (whom also introduced the terms "La Cosa Nostra","The Commission" during the 1963 McCellan's Senate Committee Case)of the Bosses during that time of his testimony.
Gambino(headed by Carlo Gambino), Genovese(headed by Vito Genovese), Columbo (headed by Joe Columbo), Lucchese (headed by Tom Lucchese), Bonanno (headed by Joe Bonanno)
"your apart of a family; a crew, that means no one can f**k with you."-Henry Hill (from the book "Wiseguy")
6. family
the one thing in life u can neva change and usually the one thing u want to the most.
7. added by me.. COMMUNITY
1 comment:
A few observations
1. officially cannot live without my blog
2. officially cannot live without coffee granita 10 times a day since being sober 24/7
3. officially cannot get away from my destiny as a fag hag. the latest oddone addition looks like he will be family
4. you can pick your friends. you can pick your nose. but you can't pick your friends nose. or can?
5. re: families. you can raise cattle. children just happen (a bastardized version of a quote in the ``House of Yes''
6. women are officially royal pains in all our arses
7. alberto: santo subito
8. filippo: i thank god every day that you exist
wanted to add a 9. or 10. but ran out of steam
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