Apprentice...

I suppose it was the start and the end.. the weirdest interview I ever partecipated to.

Location: shithole of a hotel in Hammersmith.

Time 9.50

After reading half of the apprentice book, in the hottest summer day in London I venture myself to the location.
Even change in the toilet of the shopping center to avoid melting down in the tube.

Dress myself in suit, cool shoes even cufflinks and little girly bag.

Arrive, 2nd floor, room with 50 people, they check my passport, I was number 6427 out of shitloads...

Get given following piece of paper

TALKBACK THAMES

Dear applicant,
Thank you for taking your time to come here today.
Please read the following which we hope will answer some of your questions and give you more guidance on the day and the series as a whole.
You will be interviewed by one or a number of people and may find your interview brief or you may be here for a few hours.
Some people will be asked to say something briefly on camera, if this is the case you will be asked to sign a release form allowing us to film you and use any of the material shot.
If unforeseen delays occur you may be waiting a while to be seen. We will, howecer, endeavour to process your application as quickly as possible. We would appreciate your patience during those busy periods.

Please do no swap contact details and full names with ANY of the other applicants you may meet today. If you do so this may disqualify you from selection.

You will be notified on or before 28th July if you have been selected to come to the second and final round of interviews. If you have not heard by this date we are afraid that you have not been selected to go further. The final interviews will take place in London from August the 1st -4th.

blablablablabla

3/4 of people arrived in flipflops.. one of the girl talking next to me was a archeologist.. another thought the job was a 999999£ ( I mean!) another one arrived with a dog bag.. there was no pet inside.. I made sure I checked..

Enter the room, 15 tables with 15 interviewers.. I sit at one of them, 18 years old gayboy in trainers and jeans interviewing me.. He asked ah! you do a club night.. almost gave him a flyer, he asked what i did where i lived and ah you did well in your job, what can you give to the apprentice ( but with a tone of voice he really didn't care)

Ok goodbye.. Now.. that wasn't even worth dirtying the shirt..
And off I went.. Poor people that travelled 5 hours to arrive there.

My mother's comment : Anyway you wouldn't look good on telly...
thanks mum you are always helpful..
the comment came from the fact that when I was 4 years old I went with a bunch of other kids to do an ad on Milk ( considering I was allergic to it, what a joy) and somebody said.. oh but she's not photogenic.

That was it, utterly disappointing..

Oh well.. I suppose at least I tried..

You never know , in those 10 minutes the guy he must have thought the crazyest things ever and i'll be back.

Sort of don't think so.. maybe he thought they needed to subtitled me for the public.. very weird..

But here you go that was another story for you.

When are we most alive?

We are most alive…most free…when the fabric of our lives is woven from threads of the heart.

A new adventure is like a double-edged sword: one side sparkles with opportunity; the other reflects our deepest fears.

A great life is born in the soul, grown in the mind, and lived from the heart.

What we get out of life is usually in direct proportion to the positive choices we make and productive actions we take.

If you don’t believe your health is important, no one else can help. If you don’t ask for what you want, your best supporters won’t know what to give. If you don’t mange your own time, there will be no time for you.

To take responsibility for a fulfilling life is to choose how you use each day of your life.

Decorate the rooms of your mind as you would a favorite retreat…with things that calm your spirit and fuel your imagination.

For every problem, there are many possible –and often equally appropriate- solutions.

It takes regular doses of fertilizer to grow a garden of sturdy positive thoughts. ( I'll probably need to rob B&Q in my case)

Soothe my soul so it will heal; light the way so I might learn. Warm my heart so I’ll know love; empower me to serve.

Watch the ballet of lightning bugs on a hot, humid night or barn swallows in flight at dusk…what better gifts are there than these?

Some enjoyment fills the senses, some wraps around our hearts, and some simply brings serene awareness from within.

The next time you find yourself thinking, "I should…" ask yourself, "Who says?” ( I'm now thinking I should go to bed.. as it's late.. and the who says.. doesn't really increase the amount of hours that divides me from my alarm clock )

Abundant living is the fine art of enjoying what you have, sharing what is yours, and attracting what is right.

Feeling down, we find no reason to celebrate, yet getting up each day should be reason enough!
But I don't really want to get up, I lost that instinct, I just don't see the point.

If you don’t know what you want in life, you’ll probably find something else.

You must first notice your good fortune to feel fortunate.

Take time to take stock of all that you have… and you’ll feel “rich” in minutes.

When something you want involves taking a risk, don’t ask, “What if it doesn’t work?” Instead, ask “How will I feel if I don’t even try?” I feel even worse if I put all my efforts into it and I'm worst off

When you talk to yourself, always imagine that you are talking to a dear friend.

You are never alone when you connect with your highest self.

Listen with your ears if you want to be right; listen with your heart if you want to be loved.

The first rule for enhancing relationships is to show up… physically present, mentally attuned, and emotionally engaged. I'm not and I can never be, the few times it happened to me, the other person wasn't really of the same idea

A gratifying life grows less from what we get or what we do than from the person we have become.

If you knew today would be your last, would you spend it doing what you should… or what you love? What I won't be able to do

Do something you choose to do early each day – it heightens your sense of purpose and integrity. Sleep, I can't. so I drink a coffee instead, not sure it has the same effect..

When you are being the person you aspire to be, you are fulfilling your personal destiny.

When you are in search of inspiration leave your ego behind, and let your child lead. I don't know what a child is supposed to feel like, I never had the pleasure.

No one succeeds alone; let the ideas of others lift you to your highest potential.

When your destination is crystal clear, your intuition will provide the best route for getting there.

All you have to do to be “creative,” is not block what springs from your heart.

Complaints drain the brain and sour the spirit; reframe all complaints as questions. That will be shit lots of questions then.. You can complain to make things better.

Offense can be found everywhere or nowhere… depending on who’s doing the looking.

Spend 10 minutes a day “playing,” and by the end of the year you will have “vacationed” for 61 hours…more than a full work week! If you are a fucking 9 to 5evers

It is impossible to laugh and feel burdened at the same time. An active funny bone gives you strength.

If you circle your wagons to protect what you have, you can’t venture forward to what you desire.

The more specific your dreams, the closer they seem. The closer they seem, the more you will be motivated to pursue them.

Let go of an old pain or regret and you free up energy to move your life forward.

Learn from your mistakes, but focus on your strengths. It is there that you will find the courage to try again.

A small crack in confidence can grow into full-blown anxiety if left unchecked. Shore yourself up with affirmation, prayer, and inspiration.

When you share yourself with someone else, you are welcomed into the heart of humanity.

Passion for life does not wear out… it fades from lack of use.

Burn the candle at both ends, and you can’t tell which end is up.

Working with a mind in overdrive is like playing darts blindfolded: a bull’s eye is unlikely and mistakes can be painful.

A fulfilling life often means releasing something you have… to acquire something you want.

All you have to do to be “creative,” is not block what springs from your heart.

this is sort of.. how many pictys can u take with the same hat?

As I've still been busy celebrating..

Haven't dedicated yet an entry to the mummy boys campioni del mondo.
I love you so much for beatitng the french.

The pussycat dolls..

Now i know it's 4 o'clock in the morning, but i have to jot this down, as the idea otherwise will pass away, probably it has already..

ok.. so why do you think relationships exists..

In my opinion and this is on the same line of if you stuff a ant's hare with food would it still go search frantically for it or wear sunnies drinking a Bud?

Not sure really..If human beings were immortal would they still have relationships?
I reckon that ultimately you need somebody to support you, care for you and things like that, if we didn't have that need, I really don't think we will psychologically do that, it's just the quiet after the storm, you sort of need to.

Not entirely sure I understand myself what the real question here if I found an answer, but I believe that if conditions were different in this world there wouldn't be any relationships. And if you ask me if that would be better or worse I truly have no idea..

What do you do for your family!!!

1st of all what's a family? I found the following definitions but I reckon the first one was written by Dclain.

A group of annoying random people that supposedly "gave birth to you" even though everyone knows that we were made by flying spaghetti monsters. They annoy you and make sure that you're "okay" even though you can take care of yourself.

My family was tormenting me about cutting my veins.

Other definitions will be at the bottom, but for now let's concentrate on what's reasonable for my mum.

11.00 am one morning... ring ring *simulating phone ringing

Mum: Hello, in 2 weeks the daughter of such and such is coming to London

Me interrupting : no she's not staying at my house

Mum: you know we have to do it... ( royal we??? I - mean I have to cope with her) they have done this and that and the other and blablabla

Me: ehm.. you know I wake up early I have coffee, dry my hair, pick up the bike.. I'll wake her up.. NONONONONONONONONONONO..( you can't change my routine.. I'm superstitious as I mentioned in separate entry, and you really can't disrupt my routine, I'll be upset all day thinking that something terrible is gonna happen to me!)

To make a long phone call short, she came to London, saint A. agreed to host her. ( I LOVE YOU)

Obviously she came with her mamy so she could check out the environment. Even invited them for dinner.. and they rudely arrived 1 hour late, so my magnific risotto with asparagus was ruined.. they loved it.. but what they know about food..

To tell you that, in comparison I'm a vatusso ( giant.. if i just invented the word)
Daughter : 22, already redone boobs ( reduction I presume) flat flowery ballerina shoes, skirt.. one of those that flyes with the wind a la Maryline Monroe.. ( not quite), LV handbag, LV handluggage with red cherries.. in case I didn't hate LV enough..
*they say that Japanese buy all the LV bags, have they have ever done a survey of LV owned procapita in sicily? I think the CIA handbook should add this statistics.

Highlights .. well so far..:
A. showing her ironing board.. No don't worry I won't need it.. I bet her monstrous luggage not only could contain a walk in wardrobe but servant that chooses colours for you
A. showing her the washing machine *looking as the object in front of her was an UFO
I promptly come to save the situation.. don't worry the laundrette is just round the corner. ummmf!!!!

I couldn't however save Filippo asking : when you gonna bring a big man home, never tried black you should.. Then he went on to explain that she should be part of at least a group ( as she is studying design, she has to interact with her colleagues... .can u believe she didn't go for a beer or anything with them yet..after a week... ehm..not possible! ) so she should either learn to smoke splifs, be gay, have sex.. and the list continued as did the dissertation on individuals, groups, why smoking a splift could help globalisation.. and so on so forth.. )

To which A. said.. me thinking he was going to save her from Filippo
A. she is here to study not to find men.. but however it will be cool if you started smoking and having your first lesbian experience.
I MEAN.............................
don't want to know what she's gonna report back....
probably that A made home made pesto and me the tiramisu'!! how nice people.. otherwise I suppose her mother and mine will be on the next flight to London. ( ah!! forgot to mention the mother was shocked she was going to live with two men... I think she knew the full story.. I'm not sure that will be the biggest issue. )
I think Filippo should be added as an entry in unencycopedia..

He even said that now we live through our blogs.. we almost post before we do things..

Now ... the conundrum is... how many times a week do I have to look after the kid.. considering that they probably expect 24 hours a day.. Even get phonecalls from her dad asking where she is as she couldn't contact her.. I reply I'm at work, she probably at Uni... maybe in the toilet??
Or having violent sex with huge man.. following F's advice..
Oh well...

As I was typing mum rings: how did it go last night? How is she? Where are you ( as in you both) going tonight? eh??? us both??? ) ok.. that answer my question... I should be with her daily... fuk that.

Other family definitions.....

1. The close relationships among a body of human beings through blood. Usually are annoying and invasive around the holidays.

"You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. Unless you kill them, marry somebody and procreate to start a new one."

2. Gay. Often used to describe/point out another homosexual person without being obvious.

Justin, check out that hot guy over there! He must be family.

3. A bunch of people who hate each other and eat dinner together.

I have to go to a family function.

4. A taxon broader than genus and narrower than order

Domain
Kingdom
Phylum
Class
Order
Fa mily
Genus
Species

5. Heads of the 5 families of New York given and refered to by the testimony of Joseph Valachi (whom also introduced the terms "La Cosa Nostra","The Commission" during the 1963 McCellan's Senate Committee Case)of the Bosses during that time of his testimony.
Gambino(headed by Carlo Gambino), Genovese(headed by Vito Genovese), Columbo (headed by Joe Columbo), Lucchese (headed by Tom Lucchese), Bonanno (headed by Joe Bonanno)

"your apart of a family; a crew, that means no one can f**k with you."-Henry Hill (from the book "Wiseguy")

6. family

the one thing in life u can neva change and usually the one thing u want to the most.

7. added by me.. COMMUNITY

OPS...I passed the selection for the apprentice...

Dear AP,

Further to your application to take part in The Apprentice Series 3, we are delighted to invite you to interview on Monday 24th July 2006.

The interviews will take place at:

xxxx


Please click on the link below see a map of the location. ( always useful!!)

Your interview time is 09:50

Please arrive on time but no more than 20 minutes early for your interview.

Due to the volume of applicants and the nature of the day, your interview may be short, but you should allow two hours, perhaps longer should there be any over-run

You will need to bring: 2 forms of identification (passport/driving licence/utility bill/etc - photocopies not accepted) and a recent colour passport photograph of yourself.

Please note that if successful at this stage, you will be asked back to a second interview which will take place in London during the week beginning 31st July. If selected for The Apprentice, you will be required to live in London at a location provided by us for a period of up to 8 weeks beginning Saturday 23rd September. You will also be required for filming on pre-arranged dates before September 23rd.

During this time, access to family and friends will be limited to one phone call per week and you will not be able to pursue any personal business activity, without exception. ( wonder how will mamy survive!!)

Please note that in order to be considered for The Apprentice you must currently be legally entitled to work within the UK.

If it is necessary for you to fly to the UK from abroad in order to attend your interview please contact us on the email address below and we will do a preliminary telephone interview with you. This does not include Northern Ireland.This email also confirms that you understand that you may be filmed during the interview process and hereby consent to any such audio-visual recordings being made of you. Furthermore, you permit FremantleMedia Limited to exploit any recodings made in all media world wide in perpetuity. You may also be asked to sign a release form on the day of the interview.
If it is necessary for you to fly to the UK from abroad in order to attend your interview please contact us on the email address below and we will do a preliminary telephone interview with you. This does not include Northern Ireland.


This email also confirms that you understand that you may be filmed during the interview process and hereby consent to any such audio-visual recordings being made of you.
We look forward to meeting with you.

south park season 1 ep1.2

Brilliant

Why do you want to work for Sir Alan?

Because considering the way the interviews are conducted it's very unlikely that the people I will have to work with will be unmotivated, close minded, unproductive and behave like hamsters running on a wheel without ambition. I like straightalk and efficiency and I see both these characteristics in Sir Alan's business.

PS. ****Complaining to language used, spelling mistakes and outreogeosity of the above entry is not allowed ****

And... England is out of the worldcuppa..

Italy 3 - Ukraine 0

A rampant Luca Toni scored twice to end Ukraine's World Cup odyssey and take Italy into the World Cup semi-finals.

Toni finally ended his goalscoring drought on German soil with two second-half goals to crush the hopes of an entire nation. Gianluca Zambrotta had opened the scoring in the sixth minute before last season's top Serie A scorer stole the limelight. Toni headed the Azzurri's second shortly before the hour mark before capping a wonderful evening for Marcello Lippi's men shortly after. Playing in their first ever quarter-final, the Ukrainians looked nervous and jittery and were at the mercy of their rivals in the opening half. Oleg Blokhin's men did battle after the re-start and were only denied by superb saves from Gianluigi Buffon before Toni killed them off. An estimated 46million Ukrainians back home watched their heroes make their exit and the Ukrainian players can feel proud of having gone so far in what has been a sensational first World Cup campaign. Italy now take on host nation Germany in Tuesday's semi-final in Dortmund.

Very very funny atmosphere at Santore' together with food, frolics and good company.
After the 3rd goal they played l'inno d'Italia and the entire restaurant rose to sing, the non-Italians they partecipated too with forks and glasses.