It was the the first Soho pride in history with the sunshine and I missed it

I have been trying all day to say to myself, there are many Soho prides there is only one Gina. 

Still it was the only Soho pride with the sunshine since I seem to remember. 

Spending time with Gina is how I picture having my own kid, with the difference that a kid 

a) might find some other interest than nagging me

b) you can shout at the kid and tell him to shut up

c) kids sleep a couple of hours a day or stay quiet in front of the telly or a videogame

8 am : Gina could no longer stay in bed, hence she decided to get up and start going around the house, making noises and doing things

8:30 : I could no longer stay in bed, too much trotting around

9:00 : Mum please, it's morning, could you kindly stop asking questions till at least I have a coffee.. it really takes 10 minutes for me to have a coffee, can I read my emails and have a coffee and then we can talk

9:00:01 Ok then I tidy up the  drawers then.

9:00:02 Can I throw this away? 

MUMmmmmmmmmm

9:00:05  Can you check if this is expired?

9:00:07  Where shall I put this ? 

well in the flipping same drawer you took it from

9:00:10 Do you need this? 

9:00:20 Do you need all these stick things ( chopsticks!), you already have so many

9:00:30 blablablabla... 

i started smoking fags

9:01  you are not washing your hair again are you? It's going to fall off if you keep washing it

9:03 Can we go running?

 

Mum I really need to read some stuff, could you please, please be silent for 10 minutes

9:05 What is this for? 

9:06 and this? 

then she started hoovering.. and guess what.. the subject fell again on the infamous flipping carpet, the ugly horrible heavy extremely expensive white shit that she decided to deliver to my office on my birthday last year ( after months of discussions on the fact that I wanted a dark carpet) .. anyhow.. carpet now needs washing and she wants to attempt the flipping task with a toothbrush.. 

Can you not do something more useful? No... 

anyhow... 

I wasn't allowed to read, I ended up tidying the drawers and loading the washing machine

at 11.30 we eventually went out... destination : running trainers shop

Together with trainers, she must have tried 20 tops, for which I had to provide smaller bigger, smaller, let's try this again size. 2 hours later she's the owner of a new pair of running shoes ( still not convinced of why she can't use them to the gym too or why they can't be waterproof or why they don't make them black) 

It was painful, really painful beyond painful... including translating every single writing on every single t-shirt in the David and Goliah shop, trying every single tea in the tea shop and so on and so forth, like finding fridge magnets red phone shaped, finding a  present for a kid, find a pair of trekking trousers like mine, despite she doesn't ever go trekking.

Arguments of the day were 

once again the carpet, as tomorrow, while I'm at work, she'll attempt to lift it ( it weights 30 kgs) find a shop that washes it ( she doesn't speak a word of english and she gets lost) 

and... TATTOOs  the addition to the insults today was that clever people don't have tattoos... I really truly honestly don't understand how certain ideas radicate in her mind.

Anyway tattoos are for stupid and the only thing is acceptable is a small little flower on your  hand ( now that's a fucking idiot ).

After I managed to stir away from the "capricci della natura" akas gay people all day, on our way back we bumped into a group of trannies.

Gina : Where are they going dressed like that? 

me: today is soho pride

Gina : what's soho pride? 

me : it's a street party where people dress up, there is music all day and when gay people are proud to be gay

Gina: Does A ever dress like that? 

me : no mum he doesn't. 

Gina: can we buy a brush to clean the carpet?

I'm now home, I missed pride, I missed the sunshine, didn't buy any of the things I needed to, didn't read anything I was supposed to, I feel exhausted more than when i don't sleep for the entire weekend, I almost want to cry and to make it worse, the weekend is gone, tomorrow is work shit again.

Still can't switch on the telly because she doesn't understand it ( how on earth can you translate word by word the X factor???? ) and still I have to decide what to eat... I want a beer and a pizza but can't say that either.

I feel hopeless. I never ever have headache, today I have, I honestly feel drained. 

If I ever decide to have a kid, please friends, make sure I'm never allowed  to make him feel the same.