I could easily call this "Stream of consciousness"

I know I haven't posted for ages and probably 3.50 in the morning is not the right moment to do so, but I have to start from somewhere, considering that's since Xmas that I kept some nice pictures for my readers..
However what I gonna write is not going to be clear to anybody but it's some sort of catharsis because I have to at least speak to myself from time to time to try to understand what goes on in my mind.
February has always been historically as not one of my great months and people don't like to hear winging, they just want to laugh and go on.
But see things like the graph above do really have an impact on my life especially when people don't believe in what you'r saying.
Oh well it was a long day but exciting at some level.. how it should be, but for me to have a busy fruitful day it does take things like this because in the majority of other cases it's just down to stupid politics.
I'm glad at uni didn't just learn theoretical subject but how to source what you need, and life often teaches more than an obsolete textbook..
However goodnight. This week really killed me, i have to learn to sleep, but unfortunately that's not part of any curriculum if not life.
I shall post soon with clearer posts and entertaining pictures than this one.
In this moment I feel like this!
It I don't find a spelling mistake in this post it's a miracle, so forgive them as I wouldn't really make a difference to repost.

We went out tonight, to gramophone, a venue which I'm so much more used to with different settings.
However it was fun and let me think a lot. Just I so wish everything would be different. But would it ever be? I'm not sure. The odds are too high to make a bet even if it's an ego generated one.
I really feel stuck in a limbo, how aterall I have been feeling for the lifespan of my life.
What would make me happy?, that's one of lifetime question and now for first time in my life, I really don't know how to answer that question.
Probably my issue is it's just "I want to be happy" and i don't care how and why, but just some sort of holiday from the whole being.