Heathrow: advice/tips and discounts

As many of you have been at the receiving end of my flight misadventures ( self inflicted or not) Pod in Pisa @ 4 am anybody..

I thought I share a couple of tidbits with you

- If departing from Heathrow T5 - make sure you clock in security 40 minutes before departure, printing boarding pass, even with hand luggage only and going for a fag is not allowed by the automated machine. 39'59" you remain at T5.
Flight missed like this about 6

P.S. at Gatwick crying still works ( succeeded with panic twice)- still you have to make through baggage handling

- When in Heathrow T5 take the lifts not the escalators it's far quicker.. and so much so they now have put a sign to tell you

- As Heathrow express prices will go up to £18 ( a robbery ) and you get no discount for return and really you don't want to invest in a carnet.. this site will save you a couple of £.. but you need a printer ( you pay £14.19)
HERE and no I don't get commissions for helping you

-Last Heathrow express is at 23.25 last departing from Heathrow @ 23.53 or something like that. So if you plan to arrive late, call a cab in advance or you'll cry for a month

-Never take a taxi to Paddington, unless is 3 am.. especially if you are 3 tube stops away.

-If you need to buy a gadget and you are about to fly, keep in mind the cheapest internet price as airports have no tax and it might be cheaper there. ( especially as in Jan UK tax are back up to 17.5%)
and you can shop now and collect on the way back, probably the only service that works at T5.
Also if you are unlike me and like to arrive at the airport with days to spare.. there is also a Waga.. ( I always regret it once I see it ) Gordon Ramsay and whatever you are looking for... and you can feel like pretty woman and get the bags delivered at the entrance of the plane.... and BOOTS is upstairs, before you go downstairs to the gates and the escalator is very long..

-NEVER change CASH at the AIRPORT even if they give u 300 miles.. you can buy a return ticket with the fee they charge you.

I shall do Gatwick in a separate section.. but mainly.. no point in arriving early there is fuck all and the Gatwick express is the most expensive slow train you have to experience.

Merry Xmas

The last famous words.....

My boss: What's Friday 13th to Italians?

Me: lucky lucky lucky you can even buy lucky charms with the number 13 on it

I hit a black swan.... and it shit on me.. against all the odds..

Friday 13th Sunday 15th

that was the so planned Maremma's weekend... you can see the angelic pictures on Tot's blog....

but I shall tell you the not told...

Summary:

flights booked 2 flights missed 2

people fainted : 1 

people bleeding : many

people slapped : 1 twice me 

picture for Gina : 1 

13th

15:37

M: at waterloo now. Going to catch a cab to liverpool street. Where are u? what's your ETA at liverpool street?

me: no idea i'm superbusy

M: see u at stansted

16:00 launch of passport and e-mail to colleague to check me in - Failed

16:45 Leave the office

16:53 liverpool street ( missed stansted express by 35 seconds)

17:15 stansted express

17.27 M: where are you?

Me: I think I won't make it

17.57 M: boarding flight on time

18.00 I arrive at check in desk, gate closed.

18.05 Go to customer service beg woman which calls to see if they still accept me- Failed

18.08 Any places on the Pisa's flight? - booked. discover as 1 hr delay

20.10 boarding to pisa's flight F: you are a c*nt

23.00 pisa's airport

23.10 pisa's station pisa's station pisa's station- weird people no train -me myself and a bottle of gin and vodka

01.20 eventually board the 00.50 train - the famous TORINO-VILLA SAN GIOVANNI animal carrier.. famous for people with card board boxes and live chickens.

trot to seat 25 carriage 3- 6 people box closed- reserved sit occupied by feet of snoaring unedentified individual- lights off

01.40 ticket man wakes up gives me my seat

01.45 woman on left dirty talks in mobile - man in front snoars

02.40 grosseto where exhausted m f & j wait for me. Punishment: holding maude

4.00 eventually reunited- wine, cheese, salami

F J & M got even stopped by police... AND THE CHINESE??? Tot F almost accused of smuggling immigrants...

12.00 wake up - no sun no even Swadowy -go back to sleep

brilliant afternoon looking at the tree.. taiching in the landscape. drinking drinking. occupy restaurant, dry their supply of prosecco and order monstrous amount of food.. which we asked to be saved in a doggy bag... ( see we are so recycling people now.. that we won't waste food either.. 

night... research of party - by mistake rock up to wedding anniversary of posh old couple which almost called the police at the sights of the tots.. 

Reserve, hit the right party- neat bottle of vodka downed one- people drunk - all - M never even made it to the party as stayed in the car. 

Slapped by F - twice. 

Lying on street - once

Sunday.... angelical cooking with waves of sunshine and crunchiness as F cooked crackers... yes crunchy tasty and with rosemary from the queen of broth.

Anyhow time to leave already... on board.. of Mina... we by luck reach the first airport but Fiumicino is packed solid, get off, run to pee, get in a cab, 40 minutes later, we haven't moved. 1.5 hr later, still there. 

Return flight missed. 

Call F actually J ( as F's phone drowned during the weekend) they are in Fregene... 

Taxi man takes M and I to Fregene.. 

errrrrrrrrr.

The errrrrrr gets worse as there is the sea... and clearly one two three... skinny dipping ole' - annoyed owner of boat club surprised by our presence chuck us out of their place... 

back in the car, restaurant food alcohol 

back to Rome... where they forget me outside on a road with me not knowing where the house actually is.. 

Anyhow... start searching flights.. nothing available.... sleep

wake up proposal to take train to Pisa and flight from there : rejected

We rock to Fiumicino hoping for a last minute flight... they don't exist.. we go through terminal a b and c... nothing... 

end up booking return flight  ( and yes... we will be back on the 11th for more).

hang around Rome airport for about 4 hours, buy wine and similar... take flight to Milan... Security steals our wine... for some absurd reason... The last drop... THE WINE NO... NO... NO... M stops talking. 

London Heathrow... plane too near to exit... so help was called to manouvre plane and passengers 35 cm backwards.. 

11 pm of the day after HOME. 

And I now have a picture of my new boyfriend on my phone- so Gina can be happy too. 

PS. The insurance doesn't cover such events... so .. why on earth do people buy insurance??